Friendship Is Just Like Electromagnetic Interactions and Quarks

My friendship with the Smith Sisters can best be ignorantly described with the following highly accurate Feynman diagram that flawlessly follows all of the rules of quantum electrodynamics:

I know what you're thinking: O fair Rassles, my brilliant, beautiful, bodacious blogging friend, however did you familiarize yourself with quantum physics? Weren't you a diligent speech major, busy writing a senior thesis that would earn you a historically impressive D+?

First of all, in my defense, I started that thesis a week before it was due and I was supposed to be working on it for a year. Second of all, I changed my major about seventeen times. Third of all, your face makes you look like a jerk.

But I dabbled in physics, for sure. Well, I've read In Search of Schrodinger's Cat, which is sloppy old school fun with physics, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to name-drop things like inter-perlative-quantum-business-something.

Sooooooo I don't really remember anything about the book except the pictures. Anyone who knows anything about anything knows that if I am anything, I am full of shit.

Basically, I wanted to talk about the Smith Sisters via graph, so initially in this explanation, I needed a graph. And I knew I wanted a Feynman because there were squiggly lines.

But I technically didn't remember the name of it, so I to googled "diagram with squigglies and positrons" and found it right away and I was all "fucking score" and then I tried to remember where I read about it since I've never taken a physics class in my life, and I googled "physics book with a cat" and then fucking Vwa-la (this is the way we spell things around here, by the way, because this is fucking America and I don't want any of your French-fangled Canadian verbal crappage all up in my business) I've got a complex explanatory answer to a question no one asked me directly.

This serves as an accurate diversion, no doubt, from the fact that my graph makes no sense whatsoever, and also provides a worthy transition into a rant about how my country is better than Canada because our hockey team whooped their asses, ergo I am better than The Smith Sisters because they are from Canada and I am from THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. And I will continue to point that out as often as possible, even though they let me sleep on their couch when I'm drunk.

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Unfortunately, that would prove to be a superlong blog post, so...tomorrow? I thrash Canada.

And yeah, I'm aware of my hypocrisy: I bitch about the Olympics and then write a blog post mentioning that game. BUT! But but BUT! Making fun of my friends, without mercy and under the guise of patriotism, takes precedence over nearly everything.

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