I am totally quirky and adorable

Someday I am going to be the type of person that leans against door frames wearing only a bathrobe and sipping a cup of freshly ground coffee, gazing into a distance of infinite possibility.  I will be that person.

On Saturday I will buy a new fancy bathrobe.  A dark one.  The type of bathrobe that says, "Look out, fucking world.  I drink steaming coffee and I wear this luxurious bathrobe outside, which I borrowed it from my very attractive lover.  He smells like fresh bread and lumber, and so does this very soft robe.  I am comfortable saying the word lover.  I drink wine that was fermented and bottled in important years.  I am a published author.  I have excellent boobs, and I never fart.  Ever."

Or maybe I'll be the type of person that stays at bougie, Pompidou-y hotels that look like Threadless t-shirts in Berlin, because I'm totally going to visit Gyna in Germany one month from now (HOORAY!).  I will be a sartorial inspiration to all of these people that live in hip, fancy places like Barcelona and Budapest and Tel Aviv, and I will say things like, "Radiohead is so overrated" and they will all say, "totally" but then secretly be ashamed because they like Radiohead and are afraid to speak up in my presence because I am Cooler Than Everyone.  Then someone will say, "You know what?  I am a legit closet Radiohead fan" as if that was something you needed to be in the closet about in the first place, and I will grin because I control their likes and dislikes and dreams.*

Topcraft: like this, but without the damn unicorn.

Because I was watching Blade Runner (twice. in a row. who does that) and drinking Beringer blush out of a mug that I heated up in the microwave and sketching out designs for this thing I'm going to make and hang up somewhere, a kind of Barbara Remington-y/ Topcraft-ian cell mural thing, which is something that I've dreamed of since I was a wee tot.  And I thought, "Was this memory implanted in me?  This pull I have towards an art style that does not have a name (I think), and I know because I have been googling for hours?" I'm always drawn back to it whenever I think of ideals, this kind of beautifully flat, modern, shitty-Boschian style? Do other people have a fascination with this style too?  Once I post a blog about it, am I going to see it fucking everywhere?  Perhaps, since Topcraft is now Studio Ghibli.  Whatever.  All I know is I want it.  All over the place."

So I'm thinking this as I sketch and measure tediously, because I am going to quilt the mural, I think, and I'm trying to figure out why it bothers me so much (what is it? I don't know, but it fucking bothers me) and then I realize it doesn't bother me.  Which is odd, because everything fucking bothers me.  But it doesn't, and I'm happy because I'm doing something I've always wanted to do and working in a puzzle-like medium that I instinctively understand, and I'm incorporating art that has followed me since I was a child, and I'm happy.  And I really, truly, for the first time ever - I don't care that it's trash, that Barbara Remington is accredited with creating the worst book covers of all time, that Topcraft animated some of the shoddiest cartoons (but not The Last Unicorn, which is perfect), and I don't care because I've always loved them and identified with them, and instead of doing my usual bullying defensive thing when I guard things I love, I'm calmer.  This is what I love.  You cannot change that with your criticism, and you will never make me second-guess my ability to perceive.

I only wrote this post to prove how quirky I am.  I might take all of these ideas and put them on Pinterest.  (No, I won't)

On another note, isn't all this post-rock, techno-with-high-octave-low-fi-vocals stuff wicked boring?  I think it's wicked boring.  Stop making me listen to it, please.  

...

* EDIT: I do not hate Radiohead (I just don't really care about them either way, like Pearl Jam), I just think it's funny how easily swayed people are.  Maybe this should read, "Someday I will be the type of 'cool' person who can make people feel self-conscious about their opinions."  I don't really want to be that kind of person, but it's fun imagining I could be.

...